This is a question every man who dresses well or is interested in dressing well has heard or is afraid of hearing. If a man dresses well, does that make him gay?
One thing that always amuses us is how conceptions of style and dress have changed over time. From the 1920’s to the 1970’s, dressing well was seen as a sign of good manners. Anyone who didn’t dress well was frowned up on. Now, this has completely turned on its head, as with everything. How do opinions change so much?
So why would a person ask “are you gay” if you dress well? Here are a couple of reasons we believe might hold the key to this question.
1) They come from a conservative place/society
Most peoples’ opinions are formed based on others’ opinions. Whilst people feel they have their own minds and think for themselves, this is hardly true. For a person to fit into society and have a “good” image, they will strive to do what their friends/peers and culture/place of origin approves of.
Our point being, if a person comes from a place where dressing well is not common, you are the outlier. If a person is surrounded with friends who dress casually and they come across someone who dresses well, this is unusual and perhaps even intimidating. Men’s grooming is also fairly common in western towns/cities today, however, it may not be so common in other places.
These people may have the misconception that only gay people dress well and undertake grooming, hence they label you gay.
2) They are not well travelled
People who are well travelled are more open minded. They have seen new places, new cultures, new styles and new ways of dressing. They are more likely to appreciate your sense of dress as they have seen others dressing well.
For instance, if you live in London, you would agree that it is one of the most multi-cultural and stylish cities in the world. Here, you will see all sorts of dress styles and you are more likely to be accepting of various forms of style. However, if you were to travel just a few miles into the countryside, a person who dresses differently would stand out quite a bit.
3) They are not interested in fashion and do not follow the trends
Enjoying shopping and having an interest in fashion does not make you gay. Having an interest in these may be seen by some as being gay mainly because these have been inherently associated with women. Women love shopping and fashion. Thankfully, with more open mindedness and equality, this misconception is changing.
Men enjoy looking and feeling good just as women do. There is nothing wrong with buying a smart suit and looking good. There is nothing wrong with enjoying fashion and following the trends. Some of the trends such as men’s skinny jeans or wearing men’s jewellery may be seen as gay by some, mainly because these are currently worn by women. But this is changing. Give it a few more years, and no one will even remember that only women wore skinny jeans or jewellery.
Why? Because people are so fickle. Look back into history and you’ll see countless examples of how our opinions change drastically. For example,
In the 1900’s, pink was a colour only to be worn by boys and blue only by girls. Now, pink is a colour only for girls and blue is a colour for boys. How did this change so much?
4) They are intimidated
When a person comes across something that they are not familiar with, there is some sense of fear/intimidation. In such cases, the response is to flee or fight. By fight, we do not mean they would be physically inclined to fight but may do so emotionally. For example, they may decide to call you gay. This is an attempt to boost their ego by working against yours.
So what do you do if someone asks you this question?
1) If you genuinely enjoy dressing up, grooming and looking good, then there is no reason why you should be concerned about someone asking you this question.
If you know your fashion, you have been following the trends and you know what you are doing, then take this as an opportunity to challenge the other person’s thought process.
Are they stereotyping? Tell them you are not gay, but what made them ask you that question?
Perhaps, they come from a small remote town and have never met anyone well dressed. You could inform them about how men dress in this part of town. If they are referring to a certain item of clothing you are wearing, you could point them towards some style influencers. Are they being sexist? Perhaps, you could tell them about how men are entitled to enjoy fashion and shopping just as much as women are.
2) If you are happy with the way you look and feel, be confident. You could simply say I am not gay but I enjoy dressing well and looking classy. (You could even add “Life is too short to dress like a tramp”) 😉
Do not get defensive. Just make sure you portray that you are extremely confident in your sense of dress, it makes you look and feel good and you are proud of it. That’s why you stand out from the crowd, that’s why you are successful and that’s why you are a legend.
3) You could always make the situation a playful one and diffuse the awkwardness:
For example, you could ask the same question back to the person asking you the question. Maybe they are gay after all and find you attractive 😉
4) If you are not 100% happy or comfortable with what you are wearing and several people have asked if you are gay, you could always ask your friends for some help.
Before buying something, ask your friends what they think of that style.
Maybe you are wearing it wrong. Reach out to a fashion blogger and ask for some fashion advice.
If a man dresses well, does that make him gay?
But most of all, do not take anything personally. If a person asks if you are gay for dressing well, it simply reflects on them and their limited thought process and experience. If you are happy and comfortable with the way you dress, you should be confident. After all, as we mentioned before, life is too short to dress like a tramp. 😀
Have a great day!