10 ways to develop a personality that commands power and respect


This is the second part to our “how to command power and respect” series. Our first part explored how style can be used to command power and respect. That article focused on the outer part of you i.e how to dress for success. Now we want to focus on the inner you.

The best way to command power and respect is to be confident. When you are confident, your actions automatically project confidence and people will want to look up to you. For some confidence comes naturally, for others not so naturally.

(Beware, arrogance can be confused for confidence. These are not the same thing. When you do something with confidence, people respect you. When you do something out of arrogance, people despise you. There’s a fine line between the two. Arrogance is being so confident that you feel everyone else is below you. Confidence is doing something with certainty whilst still respecting those around you and appreciating their input)

So how can you develop yourself such that you project confidence? Here are 10 things that you can do to increase your confidence and project self confidence. Some of these actions are very minor but sometimes it’s the small things that matter. These are the things that people care about which will make them respect you.


10 Ways to become more confident so as to command more power and respect:


1. Make eye contact

This is one of the best ways you can look confident instantly. Most people are completely unaware of this and usually look anywhere else but at the person they are talking to you. This makes you look on edge and nervous. Make eye contact with the person you are talking to. Not only will it make you look more confident and sure of yourself, but you’ll also learn more. Did you know that almost 60% – 70% of communication with a person occurs through eye contact? You understand things better when you make eye contact. Also, the person you are communicating with reveal much more valuable information if they are able to connect with you via eye contact. It makes you a better listener too. When you make eye contact, you connect better, you listen better and this will make people respect you. Ofcourse, don’t stare at a person in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Just do it naturally.


2. Smile

People who smile naturally attract others. People want to know why you are happy. What’s going on in your life that makes you a pleasant person to be around? When you smile, you naturally become more approachable. When you smile, it makes others think that you are a nice person and they will respect you. Don’t flash a fake smile – they’ll instantly know it. Smile from your heart.


3. Improve your lifestyle

Put aside time to invest in your well-being. Meditate, relax, do yoga, go to the gym. All these activities will improve your body and the way you feel. Naturally, as you begin to look good and feel good, you’ll be more confident. These activities release hormones that make you feel good.


4. Learn to love people in the real world

In today’s world, we are so obsessed with shutting everyone out and spending all our time online communicating with people we don’t even know. From getting superficial likes on facebook to superficial followers on instagram, we are obsessed with it all. If tomorrow the internet went down, we are pretty sure a lot of people would lose their “social” online lives. If there’s one thing you should take away from this article, let it be this. Get out there. Meet real people. Love meeting real people. Every single person you meet has something interesting to tell you. Every person has a story. Go out with the mind set that everyone you meet is a good person and there is something you could learn from them. They will reciprocate your sincerity and respect. You can then connect with these real individuals on social media if you wish. That is the way to build real relationships and gain real respect and power.


5. Face your fears

Are you afraid of something? Why? Is it going to kill you? If not, then you should not be afraid of it. Consider it a challenge, it will help you grow. If you are afraid of rejection, go out there and get rejected. Do things where people may reject you. You will get used to it and will no longer be afraid of rejection. When you are no longer afraid, you’ll learn how to conquer your fears and get the results you desire. You’ll be more confident. When people notice you doing things they are afraid to do, they will respect you.


6. Learn, learn, learn

Knowledge is key. Look to learn whereever you can. Read lots of books, meet lots of people, read the news, magazines, articles. Visit different countries, go to cultural events, go to museums, watch documentaries. Go anywhere that has information, do anything that will make you more knowledgeable. When you know a lot, you’ll naturally be more confident. You’ll be confident having a conversation on any topic with anyone and people will respect you for it. An informed person is a person who commands respect. In fact, when you know things others aren’t aware of, you are in a position to do things others can’t. This is true power.


7. Help others

The best thing you could do while you live is to help others. This, we feel, is the ultimate goal of humanity. It doesn’t matter how you help a person, it could be through donations or it could be by physically being there to help them. You’ll create a much better outcome for those people and you will feel better too. Knowing that you have done something to help someone, you’ll feel happier and more in control. You’ll be respected and your help will never be forgotten.


8. Build on your strengths

The best way to be confident is to work on what we are good at. Not everyone has the same talents, but each and every person has something they are really good at. We tend to focus on those attributes that are our weaknesses. If instead, we focused our energy on our strengths, we would be much stronger individuals. Work on what you are good at, perfect it and then stand out. When you are really good at something, you will be more confident. People will respect you and you will command more power.


9. Become self-aware

Most of the time we are not confident because we feel nervous. There are small things that make us shy or reluctant to engage with others. This could be to do with past experiences we have had or even to do with what we have been told. None of this matters. Just be more self-aware. Why are you feeling nervous at this very moment? Why are you feeling uncomfortable going to that event? Realise that sometimes it’s all in your head. There is no need to be nervous or uncomfortable. Focus on the activity you are engaged in, be there completely, deal with every frustration you face knowing there’s nothing to worry about. Secondly, be very careful about your thoughts. Your thoughts can play a big role in your personality and can directly affect your outcomes. Always keep your thoughts positive.


10. Fake it till you make it

The final way to be confident is to pretend you are confident. This may sound bizarre at first but it works. When we constantly think about something and work towards that thing, we become it. If you constantly think you are confident, your brain will align itself to feel that way. After a period of time, your actions will be in line with those of a person who is confident. Others will notice and they will begin to look up to you. This external stimuli will feed back to your brain making you even more confident. If you want to be good at something, you have to do it everyday and completely immerse yourself in it. The same applies to becoming confident. Start acting confident, just be confident. Believe you are confident. It won’t be long before you notice that your confidence has actually increased. This in turn, through your actions, will cause people to respect you.


We hope you find one of the 10 ways to be confident above useful. Once you have applied these and begin to feel confident, you’ll naturally begin to command respect and feel more powerful.